The Diary of a Monster
by Serenity-Snape66
Summary: A look into Eriks journal. It starts in the very begining of the Andrew Loyd Webber version. rated T for now. might go up
1. Chapter 1

It has been nearly 60 years since it happened… Since she left me. No… No I shouldn't say that, she didn't leave me. I let her go. I let my Angel go. I loved her. I always have, and I always will. All I wanted was for her… to be happy I suppose and… if being happy meant I had to be out of the picture, then… I would get out of the picture. It's what she wanted. If she wanted to leave me for Raul, that's fine…

What am I saying… that's not fine. No, not at all. I fell into a pit of darkness that night, into the dungeon of my black despair, into the prison of my mind. I don't think I ever really came out of it either… I haven't been able to write a single thing. I can't play a single note on the organ. I have fallen into this rift, and I cannot climb out. It's far far too deep.

It was that kiss. It was the kiss that killed me. Those lips were poisoned. If she had just left, if she had just made a choice. Either leave me and let him die, or stay… She never would have stayed though. She wouldn't have been happy that way. Living with me… It… It's a miserable and degrading life, living down here. No one can love a monster… no one… my mother couldn't… Christine couldn't… I couldn't…

It has been 60 years… and I have been cursed with immortality… I am the same as I was back then. Nothing about me has changed. Christine died a year ago. I am going to visit her grave today. I will head out as soon as the auction upstairs ends.

tell me if i should make more chapters


	2. Chapter 2

It seems that I got there before Raul did. I'm proud of my self for that.

I gave my Angel a rose. A beautiful red one, with a black ribbon tied around it. Black is so morbid I know, but I am a morbid person, and it was a morbid day. I sat at her grave for the longest time. No body saw me. No body was there…

I cried. I leaned against her grave and I cried. I cried for her, and I cried for myself. For what could have been. For what _should _have been.

She should have been my wife. She should have lived with me! I was the one for her! Ha… what am I saying? The choice was obvious. Him. But Raul is a cold hearted bastard! Could she not see that? No. Of course not. Her eyes were clouded. She said I deceived her? No it was him with his false charm and good looks.

I may be old in years… but my body still yearns for a woman's touch. I have only been touched by so few. It's depressing… some one like me whose mind is only on love and sex. There is no sexual gratification when you live alone.

I left my Angels grave when I heard an automobile come toward the grave yard. I figured it would be Raul. I went back to my home under the Opera House... to find somebody waiting for me.


	3. Chapter 3

The girl screamed when she saw me. Of course. Who wouldn't? But… she started apologizing instead of trying to run from me. She had one of my notebooks in her arms. She set it back down on the bench of the organ and tried to look for an escape rout. Finding none, she decided to explain.

Her name was Lenore. She was 17 and had accompanied her parents to the auction. Apparently, the girl had gotten bored and wandered off to explore the abandoned opera house. She got lost, and ended up her some how. She apologized again, for touching my music. She's trying to learn the piano.

I believed her. I was… astonished… I don't think she'd ever heard of me before, as she didn't even mention my title, or comment on my mask. I'm way before her time though… And the stores have died along with those involved.

I told her she was in my home and that she should leave. The sun was setting. She actually looked reluctant to leave, and started making excuses, that she didn't know how to get out, and that her parents wouldn't care.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with the girl. I was still wallowing in self-pity. But there was no getting rid of her… I told her to sleep on the couch, and I turned to go to my bed. She ran forward and… grabbed my hand… kissing it in gratitude. Then she went to the couch and lay down, turning her back to me.

It's very late in the evening now. She's still asleep. She's a very pretty young girl… Black hair, blue eyes, built like a dancer, and graceful like one. I put a blanket on her… I know it's cold…

My hand still burns. I can hardly recognize this feeling, but I know exactly what it is. It's the same burning Christine left on my lips after that night. I'm now fixated by this Lenore. I hope… That I do not make any mistakes like last time…


End file.
